When natural disasters and mass shootings occur, the tragic deaths and losses tear survivors lives apart.
As a psychiatrist and family therapist who volunteers with the American Red Cross response team, Nancy Young helps people begin to put the pieces back together.
Nancy was part of the team that responded to mass shootings in Sandy Hook and in Las Vegas. In her presentation to the Waunakee Rotary Club April 26, “Angels of Sandy Hook,” she described how loved ones of the 20 children and six adults responded to that horrific tragedy.
Now a Madison area resident, Nancy had lived just 45 minutes from Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut for four years where she then worked as a school psychologist, so she was drawn to volunteer there.
Three weeks after the shooting, she was assigned to visit families of the deceased with another volunteer who could connect them to long-term counseling.
“I heard stories,” she said. “Things we learned took my breath away.”
Some found solace in faith, such as one mother who said she believed God had taken her daughter’s soul before she had been shot.
One teacher who had been shot four times, was recuperating, but now confined to a wheelchair. She astounded Nancy with her bravery. After following the principal and school psychologist into the school hallway where they were shot, the teacher led several students into a room and held the door shut while the assailant, Adam Lanza, shot through the door, hitting her four times on one side of her body.
Nancy called the trauma “unprecedented,” adding that “counseling for her will be long term and complicated.”
Another parent she spoke with told of her son, who had autism, and of his teacher, who helped her develop a love for her son.
“His teacher’s arms were wrapped around [him],” Nancy said, adding that the parents hoped that he felt safe as the massacre occurred.
Those parents were afraid to feel hope in fear that they would never experience happiness again, she added. But she said these doors begin to open in special ways.
Older siblings of the victims often felt guilty that they had been mean to them and not expressed their love before their deaths.
“All of us feel we have all the time in the world to tell our loved ones we love them,” Nancy said, but life can end in an instant.
The sister of a teacher killed in the shooting said she was still very angry but her brother found comfort in visiting a child that teacher saved, Nancy said.
She related the story of another family, who waited hours for their daughter to be released at the Fire Station, where the survivors had been evacuated. As they stood there at dusk, they heard the announcement that all the living children had been reunited with the parents.
“The pain was excruciating; it was unbearable,” Nancy said.
But they found joy in the artwork their daughter had created and left behind and brought that to the funeral.
“Grace is guiding them through the most difficult times,” she said.
Nancy said these are just some of the ways families began to cope after such tragic losses.

Other news:
–Those participating in the spring clean-up can meet at the Waunakee Village Hall Saturday, April 28. Bring rakes, shovels and gloves to spread mulch around.
–Club members will serve beer at the Relay for Life beer tent from 5 p.m.-midnight.
–Scott Biba has tickets to the May 5 Twins vs. White Sox game. Let him know if you’re interested.
 
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Guests: Nancy Young, Dave and Sue Hineline, guests of the club.   

 

Visiting Rotarians: Preston Irving, Madison West Towne; Martha Sullivan, Downtown.

 

Birthdays: None.

 

Anniversaries: May 6, Don and Joanne Tierney; May 6, Roxanne and Kevin Johnson; May 8, Todd and Tonya Schmidt;
May 9, Ed and Jan Niebuhr.

 

Greeters: May 3, Greg Garton and Randy Guttenberg; May 10, Rich Harris and Travis Heiser; May 17, Don Hoffman and Mick Holm.